The
Disconnect
you glide
down the hallway
with a physical fluency of disdain
I’ll never achieve
you surround yourself with handpicked sycophants
to bolster, protect, and insulate
best
friends become a mindless posse
moving in well-oiled tandem
as you pull the strings
by instinct rather than design
your black
eyes a puzzle to me
quick and sharp
yet trained to portray a measured boredom
I see, in unguarded moments,
an intelligence, a yearning for more
at war with what seems possible
I see the
cycle of failure
clearly stamped
by your disruptive behavior
a subterfuge of protection
as gritty as the irritant
working itself into a pearl
the slow
smile sneaking around your face
when you do well
cuts through the façade
you can be
reached
in the one-on-one
of what you take from my words
but I know
in the hallways
you’ll revert to the posturing
but I’ve
seen you
and of me
your teacher
what do you know
you
recognize my knowledge
but instead of running to catch up
you are intimidated
by your perception of genius
you see my clothes
and assume an income I no longer have
picture a house much too grand
imagine a life of ease
I’ve never quite managed
steeped instead in an alcoholic mother
who gassed herself
and an alcoholic son
painfully digging his way
out of the wreck of his life
and a stroke victim husband
I tread
water with remarkable skill
if I can’t breathe
we all drown
still, I
search your eyes
waiting for the moment
you know
I’m not your enemy
and we can begin
